Teen
2005-03-29
Playing with Patti This is the story of how playing hooky from school led to me being Raped and changed my life for ever. I remember the first day I met him, it was a sunny day and I was eleven and a half. That morning I was busy getting myself ready for school, I had put on a white tank top, sleeveless and a black skirt that just went above my knees. Underneath I had my training bra on; it was not long since I had started to develop. I remember even back then, thinking how lucky I was. You see I was a bit bigger than most girls my age, round the bust that is, and that meant more attention from the boys. Anyway I had on white cotton panties, with socks and black shoes with maybe an inch heels. My hair was very long almost reaching my butt. It was now 7:30 am and time too walk to school; I hated taking the bus, always too crowded and smelly. So I always walked unless I was running late. I was about a block and a half from my home when I noticed this very handsome guy who was watering his flowers. Even at this tender age, I’d started noticing men. He looked at me with the biggest smile and said,“Hi, what's a pretty little thing like you doing up this early?”I stopped. “I’m going to school, but that school bus sucks, so I get up early and walk. I like your flowers, they’re so pretty. ”We continued talking small talk till I noticed it was getting late.
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So I said a quick. “Bye. ”And with that I rushed off to school. From then on, every day when I passed his place as I walked to and from school, he always seemed to be outside and I’d stop and talk to him. Sometimes he’d offer me a drink of lemonade or something, and we would sit on a pair of sun chairs he had in his front garden having a drink while we talked. Then Oct 26th arrived, my 12th birthday. It was great walking to school that morning, Dave as I now knew was his name, was once again outside. We chatted as usual, and I told him it was my birthday. So as I was walking by his house after school he came out and stopped me. He had gotten me a Happy Birthday balloon and a yellow single rose. He was so sweet I just loved it. I had to tell my parents that some friends at school gave it to me at lunch time. I really didn't think they would like me talking to an older man, so I kept that a secret from them. When I got home I had my birthday party, and one of my gifts that my parents had bought for me was a real woman's bra, not a training bra. I was so excited; I felt so big now, and I couldn't wait to try it on.
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That night when I went up stair's to my room, I undressed and before I put my nightie on, while I was still naked, I just had to try on my bra. God it felt so good and I felt so grown-up. I was standing in front of the mirror throwing my shoulders back just to force my bust forwards and give them a little more show. I couldn't wait to wear it to school the next morning. I put my new bra on and my panties which were white cotton with little tiny flower's on them. As I told you my hair was very long reaching my butt, it was dark brown as were my eyes. I was about 5'2 weighed 102 lbs. I didn't feel I had much of a figure yet, but in some dresses I guess you must have been able to see my curves starting to develop. As once or twice of late, I’d noticed men paying me attention, nothing weird, but just that look that men give you. My legs were very long and full, and with nylons on, this was also something that made men look. I must admit, even I thought they looked awesome. But I wasn’t gonna be wearing nylons today, as my parents didn't like me wearing them, they said I was too young. So the dress I put on today was really frilly; white with lots of lace flowers on it, making it spring like. It was very full looking and it flared at my hips showing off what figure I’d got to best effect. Then I just left my hair to fly freely.
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So off I went, feeling all grown-up, I had a spring in my step as I took my normal walk to school, Then as I neared Dave’s place, there he was again outside waiting to catch me. He yelled over at me so I stopped and waved to Him. He comes running up to me to ask how my Birthday went. I told him great and then started telling him the details of the party. Then as I was talking to him, I could tell he was looking at me very differently. Looking at me from top to bottom, but he was really looking at my breasts. I felt both a little uncomfortable, and at the same time excited that he was looking at me that way. Because this meant he was looking at me like I was a big girl, not a child. I told him I had to run to school before I was late. He even offered to give me a ride to school in his car, but I turned him down saying. “No thank you. I love the walk. ”But in all honesty I felt so proud of my developing shape; I just wanted the world to see me. It was a great day; I seemed to have lots of boys following me wherever I went. Too sure, I’d had guy friends before, but now they seemed to give me more attention.
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They seemed to want to be with me, not as before either playing or poking fun, but just talking. After school I saw Dave outside his place, when he caught sight of me he ran over, his face had his usual big smile. He asked me how my day had gone, I told him about how some of the boys had been walking me to class, sitting by me, having lunch and breaks with me. Dave didn't seem too happy about that. At the time I didn’t understand why, but he didn't want to hear about it. But now I realise, he was jealous. At the time I’d considered that possibility, but I knew that he was a grown man of thirty or more and I was only twelve, so I’d put that down to my imagination going wild. Then I told him I needed to get home to do my homework, he asked me what homework I had. I told him maths, which was a subject I was not good at. Then he asked. “Could you use a bit of help with that?”“You serious?”“If you want me to. It was my top subject at college, so I guess I can handle the level you’re at. ”“Oh god, that would be great. But I’ll need to call my mom and tell her I’m at a friends house studying. "He let me in to use his phone while he got some lemonade.
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My mom said it was fine, but I had to be home in an hour and a half. Dave was already sitting outside, he had a table and lawn chairs set out right under a tree so it was plenty shaded enough. He was true to his word, and over the next few months it was the same thing everyday, me stopping off at his place to study. He was so patient with me, and gradually my maths grade did improve. Then one morning, for no apparent reason, I just felt like I wanted to skip school. When I got to Dave place I mentioned it. “Oh god Dave. ”“What’s wrong?”“Nothing I guess, I’m just fed-up with school. ”“Why, who’s upset you?”“Nobody, I just don’t feel like going to school today. ”“Well stop here then. ”“Really? You mean it?”He just laughed. “Yes really!”I was so happy and excited, I bounced up and down, but stop short of giving him a kiss. “Come on then, you’d better get inside before anyone sees you. ” So we went inside and I put my book down on the kitchen table where we sat talking. Then all of a sudden he said.
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“Hey. I’ve got an idea. ”I looked at him, not knowing what was in his mind. “What?”“I can call a couple of buddies over and have them bring some beer. ”“But Dave. I’ve never drunk beer. My folks say I’m too young. ”“Oh come on, a big girl like you. Don’t tell me you’ve never had a beer?”“Never. ”“Well it’s about time you tried then, a couple of beers won’t hurt you. Anyway, we’re gonna have some so it’s up to you. ” So he picks up the phone and dials. “Hey Greg this is Dave. How about you pick up Steve and come on over?”“Can’t tell you on the phone, but you wont be disappointed. Oh yea, pick up a case of beer, it’ll help get things going.
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”“I said I can’t tell you, but I’ll give you a clue, you can give your right hand the day off. Ha ha!”“No! You work it out. And don’t take all day getting here. ” I wondered what question was being asked on the other end of the line that Dave couldn’t answer. And his remark about Greg giving his right hand the day off, what was that all about. When he'd put the phone down, I asked Dave, but he just said Greg does a lot of writing, so if he comes here, his right hand will get a rest, I suppose it made sense. I don’t think it was more than about 1/2 hour before they were knocking at the door.
Dave opened the door and they came walking in. I was still sitting at the kitchen table and in walks all three of them. Dave starts putting away the beer the other two just kept eyeing me up and down. Dave looks up and says,“Oh I want you both to meet Patti, she lives down the street from me and today she wanted to play hooky from school. ”They both sat down and said hi to me. Dave handed them both a beer, then he opens mine and hands it to me. I took a drink and started coughing a little bit, it was nothing like Pepsi! The guys laughed and asked what was wrong?“Nothing, but can I please have a glass?”Dave takes my beer and pours it in a glass then hands it back to me. I take another small sip; it’s really not bad, just something you had to get used to.
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We sat there talking for a long time, just small talk mostly. But as we were talking, I was drinking. As I finished each glass they’d re-fill it. I lost count of how many glasses he poured for me! Dave wanted to move into the living room to the couch, but as I stood up I felt very dizzy and stumbled towards the floor. Dave grabs me, his big strong arms wrapping themselves around me. “Are you ok?”I just giggled. “Yea. ” Dave helped me to the couch and he sat down beside me. He had his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to him. “Come on. Lay your head on my shoulder, you’ll soon feel better. ”So I laid my head down on his shoulder and just kinda cuddled up to him. “That’s my girl, just relax. ”As they were talking my eyes were getting heavier and heavier and the room had started spinning a bit. I felt safe next to Dave, so I just closed my eyes as they were talking.
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This is the hard part to explain because I was drunk and a lot of this is a blur, kinda like a dream. But I’ll try and explain it the best way I can. You know how when you start going to sleep but you can still here people talking? That's the way I was at this time, while they were talking, Dave had brushed his hand against my breast. I didn't think anything about that at the time; I Just passed it off as an accident as he was just moving his arms about. Then it happened again, but then the next thing I know is, his hand is totally on my left breast, and he was rubbing it through my shirt. I remember thinking he shouldn’t be doing that, but how good it felt. I started to move about a bit, but I’m not sure if I was moving because I wanted him to know that I was still conscious or if I just wanted him to have better access. As it was, he pulled away for a few seconds and waited until I’d settled down again. Then he slowly made his way back and continued working all around my tit. God I remember how good it felt. Then I was conscious of being laid back across the couch, and he was then able to use both hands. So now he started giving my right breast attention as well. So here I was, flat out on the couch, semi-conscious, with both breasts being softly massaged whilst he lightly pinched my nipples. This was really getting me tingling all over my body, and I thought I never want him to stop. But stop he did, and then I realised Dave’s arms were sliding under me.
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As he took my weight and started to lift, I opened my eyes to see what was happening. “Shh. My little one. You’re ok. You just relax and let Dave make you comfortable. ”Well I had no fear of him, and everything seemed cool, so I closed my eyes again. Next think I was aware of, was the cold of the clean bed sheets as he lowered me onto his bed. Now I could feel him lifting my shoulder, and pulling my arm out of my shirt. It was all like a dream. I thought about trying to stop him, but I must have drifted off again. Then as I came to, I could feel he was pulling my panties from under my bottom. I guess my blouse had now already gone! But still I drifted off again into dream land. I do vividly remember his hands under the backs of my knees, and him lifting them up, and pulling them wide. I hadn’t opened my eyes, through all this stripping; and even now, knowing my legs were being stretched wide open, my eyelids were heavy like lead and they remained tightly closed. Then I felt it, his tongue on my pussy.
His fingers were gently prising my lips open, as he licked up my slit, and flicked his tongue around my clit. I was breathing hard and fast my head going from side to side. It took him no time at all before I started whimpering, and my hands grabbed the bed posts tightly. My body was shaking so badly, I think that must have been my first orgasm. Once I’d come down from that, I started relaxing again, my hands letting go of the bed posts, as my breathing returned to normal. Then it happened, still with my eyes shut, and unable to consciously resist, I felt him climbing above me. As I sensed the nearness of his naked body on top of me, I felt the end of his cock touch my pussy lips. He slid it up and down the valley of my lips, not entering, but just gliding back and forth. This was again something I knew was wrong, but it felt wonderful, like nothing I’d ever known before. Then I felt it pushing, just gently, and my pussy opened easily at first as just a little of his cock slid up inside me. Then suddenly I started to tighten as it began to hurt me, he must have been right at my Hyman! Momentarily he paused, and then with one thrust he broke through. God the pain I felt! I woke up screaming, trying to get up; my hands were flying all around. I screamed. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? GET OFF. YOU’RE HURTING ME.
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”He grabbed my arms, and pinned them down, whilst he just kept thrusting deep into me. I started crying not sure what was happening to me, and wondering why he would do this to me. Eventually as he kept pumping his cock up inside me, the pain gradually faded. He tried to kiss me, but I didn't want him too, and I kept thrashing my face from side to side. Then while still holding my hands, he took his hands up to my face, and gripped the sides of my head, holding it still. He looked me in the eyes and said. “Oh baby you feel so good. ”His lips went to mine his tongue prying my mouth open. He looks at me again. “Baby give me your tongue. Put your tongue in my mouth. ”At this point, I gave in and did as he wanted, somehow all my resistance had just melted away. Then as I stopped fighting him, our kisses got longer and longer, and I started relaxing. He let my hands go free and started playing with my tits, pinching the nipples lightly. Then he took his hands, put them on my head with his fingers locked together.
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“Oh god baby! I’m gonna cum!”He started bobbing me hard and fast to meet his hard jerky thrusting. He kept this up till he exploded in me! He was soaking wet from sweat, breathing really hard. Now he just lay on top of me for god only knows how long. Every once in awhile he’d give me a little thrust and another very passionate kiss. “Baby girl you are the best. ”And with that, he rolled off me, and lay on his back beside me. We lay there for a short while, and then he turned over and looked at me. “Are you ok?”“I think so. ”“You were so good. You’re the best I’ve ever had. Did you like it?”“I I don’t know. It hurt me, and I’m bleeding. ”“Oh baby girl. Don’t worry about that. That was cos it was your first time.
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You won’t get that pain again. But once the first stinging went, did it feel good?”“I guess so. ”“Oh baby girl, Dave tried his best to fuck you real good, and all you can say is, ‘I guess so’? Come on tell Dave you liked it?”“It was good; it just scared me a bit. ”He sat up. “Come on baby girl, let’s get you cleaned up. ” With that, he got up and went to his bathroom and started running water in the bathtub. He then came back to the bedroom where I was, helped me to the bathroom, and into the tub. He washed me up real good, and while he was doing it he continued asking me about the fucking he’d just given me. “You liked Dave licking your pussy didn’t you?”“I guess so. ”“Baby girl, you’re not doing old Dave’s confidence any good. I thought I’d licked you real good? Don’t be shy, tell me you liked it. ” It was obvious he wanted to hear how good he was at lovemaking, so I just pandered to him. “I thought it was wonderful, you made my whole body shake. ”“See I knew you’d enjoyed it. And now we’ve broke that virginity, your next fuck will be like floating on a cloud to heaven.
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”“But you’re not gonna do me again are you?”“Well tell me the truth, by the time I was ready to cum inside you, you were really starting to enjoy it, weren’t you?”“I guess so. ”“Oh baby, not back to that again. Tell me was Dave’s fucking the best or what?”“Yes Dave. It was good. ” “Is your tummy still tingling?”“Yes, it feels all funny inside. ”“Good isn’t it?”“Yes. Hey what you doing?”He had put his finger and thumb onto my nipple, and as he rolled it in between them, it immediately firmed up and sent a tingle through my body. “You like it?”“Yes. ” “You know you won't get that pain when we fuck next time?”“Yes, you told me, it was just because I was a virgin. So will it be good right from the start?”“You bet it will. Look, you just relax and soak a bit, while I go and change the bedding. Then maybe if you want, you can try another fuck again. Would you like that?”I didn’t know what to say, but I thought he’d take it as an insult if I said no. “Oh yes Dave, I’d love it. ” He left the room, and I lay there thinking about what had just happened, while he was sorting out the bedding.
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As the warmth of the bath, mixed with the alcohol, and the sexual adrenaline, all combined together, I drifted off into a dream. I imagined Dave and I, married, me pushing the pram, with him at my side.
Then the nights, my legs spread wide, as he plunged deep up inside me, spurting load after load of cum, until it ran out of my overflowing pussy. Suddenly I was brought to my senses, as the door burst open, and in came Dave. He’d finished the bedding, and come back to help me out of the tub. As he was drying me, I asked for my clothes. “Don’t you want to try another fuck?”“If you want me to. ”“Ok, here, put this on. ”He said as he handed me his robe. I put his robe on and then he sat me on the toilet. “Patti. I need to talk to you for a minute. ”I looked at him, not knowing what he was going to come out with. “What?”“You’re happy to try another fuck aren’t you?”“Yes, I just said I would. ”“Well you know that Greg and Steve are going to want to fuck you?”I jumped up.
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“NOOOOOOOOOOO Dave. No please. ”He grabs my upper arms and pushes me back down on the seat. “YES. Now baby girl you WILL do this. ”“NOOOOO. Dave I’m getting dressed and I’m leaving. ”“Patti! You’re not understanding me!”He's still holding on to me tight. “I’m not asking, I’m telling you, you have no say in this. It is going to happen, but I would rather you accept it than fight it. ” “Dave please. I can’t do this; just let me leave now please?”He pulled his dick from his fly, and it hung limp and soft in between his legs. “Look you said you wanted another fuck, and old Dave’s all spunked out. But Greg and Steve are all pumped up and ready to go. ”“Please Dave don’t make me.
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”“No more words. Come on baby girl it gonna happen, come with me. ”He took my hand and led me back to his bed. “Sit here and be good I’ll be right back. ”He left the room shutting and locking his bedroom door behind him, imprisoning me inside. I could hear them talking but couldn't make out what they were saying. A little later Dave came back with a bottle of beer and a glass for me. “Here baby drink this it will help you relax some. ”I took the glass from him. “Dave. I can’t do this, just let me go please?”Dave kneeled down on to the floor taking his hand and putting it on my chin to raise my eyes to meet his. “Baby girl, listen to me. You not only can! But you will! You know I care for you deeply and I promise you that nothing or no one will ever hurt you. All they want to do is to fuck you, and you just told me you wanted to try it again. I'll be right here I promise, now you just be a good girl and drink your beer.
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” I drank that glass down pretty fast. “HEY! GUYS, GET A COUPLE MORE BEERS IN HERE QUICK. ”Steve arrived, and handed Dave the beer, then he left again. Dave pours my beer in a glass, but before I was halfway done with that glass he takes it from me and sets it on the night stand. “Are you ready baby girl?”“Dave please. ”He cut me short. “Stop now Patti, we talked about this already. Come on, time to take the robe off and lay down. ” My eyes started to tear up but I did as he told me. “That’s better. I knew you’d be a good girl. HEY GREG, GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE. ”Greg comes walking in, and the whole time Dave was talking to him, he's just staring at me as I lay naked on my back on the bed. “Right listen up Greg, you be gentle with her. ”Greg nodded.
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Then Dave looked at me. “Its ok baby girl, I’ll only be in the bathroom, I’m going to leave the door open so I’ll know you’re alright. You just be a good girl and make old Dave proud of you. ”Then he left. Greg started undressing and as he did he said. “Yea, daddy's been waiting all morning for this. ”He lay down beside me and started touching my breast. First cupping them, then he started squeezing and then pinching them really hard. “Hey! That hurts. ”“Don’t worry honey, old Dave’s running his bath water, so he won’t hear you. But old daddy here is gonna take good care of them. ”With that he started sucking them. “Oh yea baby, that's it. Just relax for daddy. ”Then his hand found my bulge at the head of my pussy, and as he tried to force his hand in between my legs.
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“Spread your fucking legs, you slut. I hope you ain’t gonna be difficult. ”His attitude wasn’t pleasant like Dave’s, but agitated and demanding. I instantly pulled my legs wide open allowing him to not only see, but also get unrestricted access. His finger first circled my hole then began going in and out, finger fucking me. “God your so wettttt. You want me in you don’t you slut? You want a good fucking?”With that said he got on top of me and as he kissed me, at the same time he gave one big thrust, and he was in me. It shocked me, I let out a scream. His hand clamped instantly over my mouth. “Don’t get worried little slut, once you get used to Greg’s big dick, you’ll ride it like the fucking whore you are. ”He was pumping me faster and faster telling me how fucking tight I was. “Come on slut, clamp down on your pussy, and milk my fucking cock. Oh goddddddddd. Yes slut just like that. ”Within 5-6 min he was cuming inside me, moaning and sweating like Dave had done.
I could feel his cum running out of me. “Oh fuck slut, you are the best fuck I’ve ever had. ”And with that he gave me a very long wet kiss, and then he got off of me. He got himself dressed and as he was walking out, he gave me one last look. “You’re gonna make one hell of a whore. ”And then he’d gone. I didn’t have long to think about what he’d just said, or what he meant by it, before, Steve walk's in. He was looking down at me all the time he was undressing. “Ready Patti girl?”He kneels down between my legs and takes a good long sniff of my pussy. “Look at the fucking cum coming out from your pussy sweetie. I need to clean you up a bit before I put my cock in you. ”He laugh's, but I feel so embarrassed. Then he starts licking my pussy. “Mmmm. That don’t taste half bad baby.
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Didn’t they let you taste it?” I didn’t answer, but just shook my head. He stuck a finger in me getting it all wet, and then he brought it up to my mouth. “Here you are, taste it honey. ”I turned my head. “Nooo. ”“Patti! I SAID TASTE IT NOW. ”I opened my mouth just a bit and he jams his finger in my mouth. “Suck my finger. Patti. Suck it now. ”I did as he said. “That's a good girl. It tastes good huh?”I nodded my head to say yes, but never spoke. With that he was back at licking my pussy. He started moaning and groaning taking his tongue deep into my pussy.
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God! He was tongue fucking my pussy and rubbing my clit. In no time I could feel another orgasm cuming. Then he said. ”Oh my god! You’re a fucking squirter. You really are fucking getting off on this aren't you?” He licked me till I thought I was completely dry, and then he then got on top of me. He started by sucking my tits and biting them and then changed to kissing me passionately. As his tongue slid into my mouth, he said. “Taste good huh honey? Can you taste the men that fucked you?”I nodded and with that he put his cock in me. He stopped for a second. “Oh god baby, you’re so fucking tight. God you feel so good. Now fuck me baby girl. ” This wasn’t like either Dave taking my virginity, or Greg ramming it in suddenly, Steve had slid his dick up my now already wet hole, and as his pace increased, my body reacted with him. It wasn’t that he was gentle; on the contrary, he was ramming me like he hadn’t fucked for weeks. But somehow my body was now ready to respond, and respond it did.
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Without any effort from me, I found my hips were thrusting back at Steve, ramming him deep into me. His fucking became faster and faster. I felt an overwhelming rush of pleasure building in my tummy. Then Steve started rambling. “Oh godddddd baby I’m going to cum. Oh yeaaaaaaaa. FUCKIN BITCH Yesssssssssssssssssssssssss. ”He exploded in me, and my pussy contracted onto his dick, kinda like it was ringing the cum from it. I could again feel it flooding me and running out of my pussy. He grabbed my hair on both sides of my head, and looked me in the eyes. “Patti girl, you’re one fucking bitch. ”Then he kissed me for a long time while his cock was still in me. Then he laid his head on my shoulder just resting. I told him I had to pee and with that he lifted his head, laughed, and gave me a quick peck on the lips. “Ok Patti girl.
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You go pee; I’ve about done with you now anyway. ”He got off of me and I went to the bathroom while he dressed. When I came out Steve was gone and Dave was sitting on the bed. “Well how did it go baby girl? I told you I would protect you. Didn’t I?” I nodded my head, and quietly said. “Yes. ”It was getting late by now, so I asked Dave for my clothes. “Yes baby, course you can have your clothes, but first I want to talk to you. Come here and sit beside me. ”I sat down beside him. “Baby you know I’m going to be sending you home now?”“Yes. ”“You are not to tell a sole what happened today. Remember, it was you who wanted to skip school. And all we did was poured the beer in the glass; nobody forced you to drink it. And if you tell anyone about the fucking, I’ll have to tell the truth, that you said you like being fucked, and you wanted me to fuck you again.
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And nobody was holding you or forcing you to fuck with either Greg or Steve, you were naked on the bed for both of them, and they never had to hold a knife to your throat. So you see girl, its really important for you, that nobody ever finds out. We’re alright; we’re old enough to fuck, and old enough to drink beer. But it's you, that will get into trouble. Do you understand this baby girl?” Again I said. “Yes. ”“Any way, you really were going for it with old Steve’e boy. You’re getting a taste for it now, aren’t you? Come on, you tell old Dave the truth. ”“I I didn’t mean to. ”“That’s as maybe, but you can't honestly sit there, and tell me you didn't like that fucking he gave you?“I couldn’t help it, it just happened. ”“I’m not gonna stop asking, until you tell me. Come on. ”“Yes. Ok yes it was nice. Now can I go home?”“No my baby girl, nice is a glass of cold lemonade, or a cool beer.
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What you did with Steve, was more than nice. Now come on, tell old Dave how it felt?”“Ok. I’ve never felt anything like it, I was on cloud nine, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now are you happy?” “Ok, you were a bit sarky, but I guess you’ve admitted you like fucking. ”And with that he went and got my clothes and I had gotten dressed and walked out in the living room. By the time I got out there Greg and Steve were gone. Dave takes his hands and places them on my face. “Look at me baby girl. Now do you understand what I have said?”I nodded my head. “No tell me. Tell me you understand. ”“Yes. Yes Dave, I understand. ”“Good girl. I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.
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” He kissed me again and moaned. “Such a good girl. ”And with that he patted my bottom. “Now scoot. ”I went home and to this day I never told my family or friends. Dave and his buddies used me for 2 years till my parents had to move house due to my dad’s work. Well that’s all for now, if anyone is interested in finding out if Steve was right, and I did make a good whore, then please email me at dadsnaughtygirl6@aol. com Maybe if I get enough interest, I’ll tell you a little more about how I developed into the sex mad lady I am now. .